Whoever you are supporting, you can take confidence and inspiration from simple yet highly effective advice. We’re grateful to David Beeney for allowing us to share some outtakes from his book ‘Breaking the Silence’[1]. Highly respected in his field, David is passionate about reducing the stigma around mental health and was named again in 2024 as one of the top 101 influencers globally on employee engagement.

He’s a qualified Mental Health Counsellor affiliated to the BACP (British Association of Counsellors and Practitioners), a trustee for Mind and lived in Northamptonshire for a number of years. Here are six tips to consider using in future conversations or workplace scenarios:

1. Ask people how they are, twice. If at first you receive a superficial ‘ok, thanks’ or ‘fine’, ask again, intentionally and genuinely – ‘no, I mean, how are you really?’ and be amazed at its impact

2. Share your vulnerability – when you do, you’ll inspire others and permit them to do the same

3. Listen mindfully. Pay close attention to what people say, stop planning your response and keep your eyes on the speaker and their non-verbal clues

4. Notice, don’t interpret – in doing so, you won’t make assumptions based on your own experiences, beliefs or bias, or jump to the wrong conclusions. Instead focus on observation, active listening, asking open-ended questions and being present in the moment, to create a safe space for the other person to share their feelings on their own terms

5. Know your team as human beings first and work colleagues second. Ask them a genuine question that’s not related to work and see how they appreciate you showing an interest

6. If you’re a manager, start team meetings by asking everyone how they’re feeling out of 10. Make a note of the scores and react when someone’s dips – typically people will always give the same number, so when there’s variation, it’s a sign something could be wrong

And don’t forget to look after yourself. As David writes in his book “…we need to remind ourselves that compassion begins at home and that we can’t hope to care for others if we do not care for ourselves.”

• Stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Accept that you are not perfect, be gentle with yourself when confronted with your shortcomings and don’t compare yourself to others

• Feel gratitude – rather than wishing for what we do not have, there is strength in appreciating what we have right now

• Be a slow coach – it doesn’t mean giving up ambition or productivity; it simply allows you to find a healthy balance..to invest time and energy in relationships…to be more present and attentive in moments that matter

• Carve out space to relax, recharge and do things that make you feel good; remind yourself that life isn’t just about responsibilities but also about enjoying joy and spontaneity

• Notice change in yourself – your sleep patterns, your ability to stay focused, lesser enjoyment in the things you love doing or a general decline in your energy levels; if they persist over an extended period, seek professional help

• Surround yourself with people who energise and lift you up; they should be your tribe